Cash-the Miracle baby

In the fall of 2007, my husband Josh and I found out we were expecting a baby.  Everything was going according to plan.  We were married for almost 2 years when we decided to start trying for a baby and 2 months later I was pregnant.  This was perfect.  I started researching the best stroller to buy, the best car seat to buy, and started searching for the perfect Noah’s Ark theme to put in the baby’s room.  We had a boy name picked out, as I was certain we were having a boy.  His name would be Cash.  Then the exciting day of my 20 week ultrasound came.  I wanted to surprise Josh with the sex of the baby so my mom came to the hospital with me for the appointment.  During the ultra sound the technician was quiet, not offering much information other than to confirm we were having a boy!  I quickly went to buy blue balloons to take to Josh’s work to surprise him.  He was thrilled that he would soon have a little buddy to follow him around.

Our elation was short lived though.  That afternoon I received phone call from our family doctor asking Josh and I to come into his office together that evening.  We knew the news couldn’t be good.  Feeling anxious and scared we walked into the office and listened to the doctor as he read the report in front of him.  Our baby had a thick nuchal fold and a short femur measurement, both signs of a chromosomal abnormality.  He had cysts on his brain and one kidney that was three times the size of a normal kidney.  Lastly, they thought he may also have a cleft lip.  I was sobbing, immediately wondering what I had done to cause this.  Our doctor, Dr Rampton, comforted us and tried to reassure us that nothing was for certain.  He set up a second consult with a high risk doctor in Eugene so we could get more definitive answers.  Josh and I drove home in shock and complete silence. 

For two days we went through the motions of our life but spent countless hours researching chromosomal disorders and we slept very little.  I was grieving and Josh was trying to distance himself from the baby.  He wouldn’t even touch my belly anymore.  When we arrived for our appointment with the specialist they made us meet with a “genetics counselor”.  She had the report from Good Samaritan Hospital and explained that the chance of them disagreeing with that report were slim.  Chances were, they would find even more wrong with the baby since their equipment was more detailed.  She told us that her impression of the report led her to believe that Cash had Edward Syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality also known as Trisomy 18.  Babies with this do not survive.  Most of them are miscarried or sillborn.  The others die shortly after birth.  She then immediately started discussing abortion.  I stopped her, explaining that it wasn’t even an option for me.  I could tell from Josh’s silence though that he wasn’t so sure.  He was scared and whatever his beliefs were up to this point, they were being tested. 

We were ushered into an exam room and the high risk OB specialist came in to perform the ultrasound.  As he examined me, the first thing he told us was that he was confident there weren’t any cysts on the brain.  If they had been there before, they were gone now.  Praise God,  a little sliver of hope.  Cash’s femur and neck were measured and they were within the normal range.  I was clinging to every bit of hope that I could get.  The doctor confirmed that Cash’s left kidney was 3 times the normal size and it was filled with fluid.  There was some sort of blockage.  We would need to monitor it throughout my pregnancy.  Lastly, the doctor tried to get a view of Cash’s lip to see if there was a cleft but the little guy would not take his hands away from his face, no matter how much we poked him.  We joked that he was camera shy like his dad.  Before we left we decided to get and amniocentisis test done to see if there was any chromosomal abnormalities.  I wanted to prepare myself emotionally for whatever lie ahead and this would give us answers.  We wouldn’t have the results back until the 26^th, the day after Christmas. 

The following week was surreal.  I alternated between feeling hopeful and complete grief.  I tried to play hostess for Christmas but often found myself withdrawing from the people around me.  It was like I was watching the world go about it’s business through a sheet of glass.  Life went on as usual for everyone else while we were on pause.  Josh and I couldn’t sleep, we would just lie there holding each other.  We would get up in the middle of the night, unable to endure the fears in our head any longer, and research Edward’s Syndrome online. 

The day after Christmas we paced by the phone all morning.  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking.  When the call came the nurse didn’t waste any time telling me the news.  Our baby did not have Edwards Syndrome, or any other chromosomal abnormality.  All of the tension of the past 10 days broke free and I was balling.  Josh shook with relief, his arms wrapped around me and his legs about to go out from under him.  We would still need to keep an eye on Cash’s kidney with ultrasounds every two weeks.  There was a good chance that the blockage would cause the kidney to become non-functioning by the time Cash was born.  But we figured, there are a lot of people who lead full happy lives with one kidney.  We also would still need to get images of Cash’s mouth to see is there was a cleft lip.  It sounds strange but we felt like we had won the lottery.  A bad kidney and cleft lip?  Is that all?  We can handle that!  We had been facing much worse.

We had many follow up visits with the specialist Dr Katz in Eugene between my 20th and 32nd weeks.  We were finally able to get good news about Cash’s mouth and he had a normal lip and palate.  I’m not sure what caused the original ultrasound technician to think there was a cleft.  At my 30 week appointment Dr Katz said with absolute disbelief that the baby’s kidney was shrinking!  Somehow, and he couldn’t explain it, the blockage was gone and the kidney’s size was much smaller than it had been.  He repeated over and over, “This doesn’t usually happen.”  He had no answer for why it had resolved itself.  Our family doctor, Dr Rampton did have an answer for it though.  “Do you believe in miracles?”, he asked,  “because that is what this is”.  Our boy would not only live but he would be a perfectly healthy baby. 

Cash was born 6 years ago today, May 14^th 2008 and weighed in at 9 pounds, 2 ounces.  It’s taken me 6 years to be able to write about the traumatic ordeal and even now there were many tears shed just to document it all.  When I say I’m blessed that I have Cash, it’s not said flippantly.  Today he is a high spirited, sweet hearted, beautiful kid.  He’s a miracle and a true work of God.