Cash-the Miracle baby

In the fall of 2007, my husband Josh and I found out we were expecting a baby.  Everything was going according to plan.  We were married for almost 2 years when we decided to start trying for a baby and 2 months later I was pregnant.  This was perfect.  I started researching the best stroller to buy, the best car seat to buy, and started searching for the perfect Noah’s Ark theme to put in the baby’s room.  We had a boy name picked out, as I was certain we were having a boy.  His name would be Cash.  Then the exciting day of my 20 week ultrasound came.  I wanted to surprise Josh with the sex of the baby so my mom came to the hospital with me for the appointment.  During the ultra sound the technician was quiet, not offering much information other than to confirm we were having a boy!  I quickly went to buy blue balloons to take to Josh’s work to surprise him.  He was thrilled that he would soon have a little buddy to follow him around.

Our elation was short lived though.  That afternoon I received phone call from our family doctor asking Josh and I to come into his office together that evening.  We knew the news couldn’t be good.  Feeling anxious and scared we walked into the office and listened to the doctor as he read the report in front of him.  Our baby had a thick nuchal fold and a short femur measurement, both signs of a chromosomal abnormality.  He had cysts on his brain and one kidney that was three times the size of a normal kidney.  Lastly, they thought he may also have a cleft lip.  I was sobbing, immediately wondering what I had done to cause this.  Our doctor, Dr Rampton, comforted us and tried to reassure us that nothing was for certain.  He set up a second consult with a high risk doctor in Eugene so we could get more definitive answers.  Josh and I drove home in shock and complete silence. 

For two days we went through the motions of our life but spent countless hours researching chromosomal disorders and we slept very little.  I was grieving and Josh was trying to distance himself from the baby.  He wouldn’t even touch my belly anymore.  When we arrived for our appointment with the specialist they made us meet with a “genetics counselor”.  She had the report from Good Samaritan Hospital and explained that the chance of them disagreeing with that report were slim.  Chances were, they would find even more wrong with the baby since their equipment was more detailed.  She told us that her impression of the report led her to believe that Cash had Edward Syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality also known as Trisomy 18.  Babies with this do not survive.  Most of them are miscarried or sillborn.  The others die shortly after birth.  She then immediately started discussing abortion.  I stopped her, explaining that it wasn’t even an option for me.  I could tell from Josh’s silence though that he wasn’t so sure.  He was scared and whatever his beliefs were up to this point, they were being tested. 

We were ushered into an exam room and the high risk OB specialist came in to perform the ultrasound.  As he examined me, the first thing he told us was that he was confident there weren’t any cysts on the brain.  If they had been there before, they were gone now.  Praise God,  a little sliver of hope.  Cash’s femur and neck were measured and they were within the normal range.  I was clinging to every bit of hope that I could get.  The doctor confirmed that Cash’s left kidney was 3 times the normal size and it was filled with fluid.  There was some sort of blockage.  We would need to monitor it throughout my pregnancy.  Lastly, the doctor tried to get a view of Cash’s lip to see if there was a cleft but the little guy would not take his hands away from his face, no matter how much we poked him.  We joked that he was camera shy like his dad.  Before we left we decided to get and amniocentisis test done to see if there was any chromosomal abnormalities.  I wanted to prepare myself emotionally for whatever lie ahead and this would give us answers.  We wouldn’t have the results back until the 26^th, the day after Christmas. 

The following week was surreal.  I alternated between feeling hopeful and complete grief.  I tried to play hostess for Christmas but often found myself withdrawing from the people around me.  It was like I was watching the world go about it’s business through a sheet of glass.  Life went on as usual for everyone else while we were on pause.  Josh and I couldn’t sleep, we would just lie there holding each other.  We would get up in the middle of the night, unable to endure the fears in our head any longer, and research Edward’s Syndrome online. 

The day after Christmas we paced by the phone all morning.  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking.  When the call came the nurse didn’t waste any time telling me the news.  Our baby did not have Edwards Syndrome, or any other chromosomal abnormality.  All of the tension of the past 10 days broke free and I was balling.  Josh shook with relief, his arms wrapped around me and his legs about to go out from under him.  We would still need to keep an eye on Cash’s kidney with ultrasounds every two weeks.  There was a good chance that the blockage would cause the kidney to become non-functioning by the time Cash was born.  But we figured, there are a lot of people who lead full happy lives with one kidney.  We also would still need to get images of Cash’s mouth to see is there was a cleft lip.  It sounds strange but we felt like we had won the lottery.  A bad kidney and cleft lip?  Is that all?  We can handle that!  We had been facing much worse.

We had many follow up visits with the specialist Dr Katz in Eugene between my 20th and 32nd weeks.  We were finally able to get good news about Cash’s mouth and he had a normal lip and palate.  I’m not sure what caused the original ultrasound technician to think there was a cleft.  At my 30 week appointment Dr Katz said with absolute disbelief that the baby’s kidney was shrinking!  Somehow, and he couldn’t explain it, the blockage was gone and the kidney’s size was much smaller than it had been.  He repeated over and over, “This doesn’t usually happen.”  He had no answer for why it had resolved itself.  Our family doctor, Dr Rampton did have an answer for it though.  “Do you believe in miracles?”, he asked,  “because that is what this is”.  Our boy would not only live but he would be a perfectly healthy baby. 

Cash was born 6 years ago today, May 14^th 2008 and weighed in at 9 pounds, 2 ounces.  It’s taken me 6 years to be able to write about the traumatic ordeal and even now there were many tears shed just to document it all.  When I say I’m blessed that I have Cash, it’s not said flippantly.  Today he is a high spirited, sweet hearted, beautiful kid.  He’s a miracle and a true work of God.  

Spring has sprung!

This past month has been a fun one.  We had a mini spring break at the coast (see previous post) then I got to celebrate my 35th with my best girlfriends.  My oldest friend (she's going to strangle me for that) came up from Rogue River which was so special.  We've been like sisters since 1997 and I miss being able to just drive across town to visit and talk about the everyday little stuff.  Some other friends from Portland and of course Corvallis also joined us (there were 7 of us in total) for dinner and a movie, in which I giggled through like a 15 year old girl.  I regressed in my maturity level for a few hours and we had so much fun. 

I've known each of these girls for over a decade and I couldn't ask for better life-long friends. Ene, Shannon, and Tara. We've seen each other through our single days, through our college years, through different relationships, through different jobs, and even while having families of our own.  Love, love, love them.

This past week I met my friend Mandy and her two daughters in Woodburn for a tulip festival.  We had never been before and it was a much bigger production than I thought.  There were several rides for kids, a playground, food booths (with elephant ears!), and of course the amazing fields of flowers.

 My boy took this picture!

Mini Spring Break

Spring is one of Josh's busiest times so we can't get away for the week like many families can.  Instead we took a mini break (two nights) over in Newport.  Some of our good friends let us use their condo at The Embarcadaro.  We went to the aquarium, played on the beach, visited the lighthouse, and flew a kite.  Sad to say it was my first time flying a kite in all my 35 years (as of today, it's my birthday!)

This picture is terrible because of the sun glare but Millie has a sweet smile so I decided to include it.

 Our kite was pretty big, about 4 feet across, but Josh got it up right away and even gave Cash a turn flying it.

And ending on a sweet note...

Come on Spring!

We've had an extreme winter, for the valley anyway.  I guess I shouldn't be complaining since my dad, who lives in Michigan, has been dealing with subzero temperatures for weeks on end.  We had an entire week of school cancellations in December followed by 1 week of school before Christmas break started.  In February, we had a whopping 15 1/2 inches of snow at our house.  Growing up in Klamath I was used to that much of the white stuff but after living in the valley for almost 13 years it came as a bit of a shock.  School was once again cancelled and the kids and I made the most of it.  Josh even stayed home from work one day!!!  I know, shocker!

 Catching snowflakes on his tongue.

Growing up where I did, I was used to being around horses.  I love them and love riding.  Josh has a fear of them which he attributes to not being around them enough when he was younger.  He wants nothing to do with them.  I don't want the kids growing up with the same fear so I decided to get Cash started early and signed him up for riding lessons.  He was completely undaunted by the huge horse we put him on.  For his first lesson we worked on teaching him how to hold the reigns, how to turn, and commands for stopping and walking.  A few weeks later we went riding again and he learned how to trot, with the instructor holding onto the lead of course.  This last weekend was our 3rd lesson and Cash played Simon says with the instructor while on the horse and they worked on turning while simultaneously giving other commands like going from walk to trot, then stopping, then walking, and so on.   

Christmas and more...

Cash's school Christmas program was super cute.  He stood on the stage in front of a massive crowd and actually sang along this time.  In the past he has tried to hide his face and he covered his ears because he doesn't like the loud clapping from the audience.  I didn't get many pictures because we were sitting so far back in the church.

In December we got a little bit of snow, about 8 inches.  At the time we thought it was a lot because we rarely get that much to stick in the valley.  Then came the snow storm in February, but I'll post about that later.  Here are a couple pictures of the kids playing in the snow in December.  They wore the scarves that Nana made them.

I started the Elf on a Shelf tradition this year.  Cash thought it was really fun.  I just don't know how I'll top it next year.  It's a convoy, elf style!

We went to The Zoo Lights at the Portland Zoo for the first time this year.  The weather was decent and the lights were so pretty.  Not sure we'll be doing it every year, it's a long drive, but it was fun to do something new.

And finally, Christmas...My dad and Kathy flew in from Michigan to spend a few days with us.  Kathy is the perfect house guest.  I would cook and she would clean the kitchen afterwards.  Such a huge blessing to this mama!  Christmas Eve Church service.

Christmas pajamas...

 Millie got a play kitchen.  It was a huge hit!

Although I'm not a fan of kids playing video games, we finally broke down and got Cash a Nabi tablet.  It has a bunch of learning apps on it and best of all, it's excellent leverage to get him to pick up his messes!
Grandpa Eddy was teaching Cash how to use it.

The only group picture we got while Dad and Kathy were visiting.

Thanksgiving

I'm going to make this post short and sweet because I have a few other photo projects right now to work on.  I'm in the middle of catching up on the family scrapbooking and I just started Millie's baby album.  On top of that, all of our family photos from 2007 to present were deleted off of the photo storing website I use.  Most of them I have backed up on USB drives but I like to have them in a second place just in case our house burns down or the USB drives get lost, etc...  It's time consuming to download this many pictures but I'm determined! 

For Thanksgiving we went down to Klamath Falls to visit Nana and Papa.  We've been seeing them a lot less this year, only every few months, because my mom has been working a lot and can't travel up here very often.  We were happy to go down for a couple of nights and have a relaxing time with them.  Cash and I went ice skating again this year while Josh and Millie stayed cozy by the fire pit with hot chocolate.  Cash is a lot heavier than he was last year which made my job a lot harder since I virtually have to hold him up the entire time but neither one of us fell so I consider it a success!

Playing catch up with the blog....

Now that we're almost done with November, maybe I should get the rest of October pictures up, huh?  Cash's Kindergarten class went on their first field trip.  Millie and I tagged along to help chaperone.  It was also school spirit week and "crazy hair day" which explains Cash's spike hairdo.

This is a picture of both Kindergarten classes together.

I have a tradition of taking pics of each kiddo on their birthday, a special photo shoot just for them.  Here are Millie's 2 year pics that I took at Avery Park.

We had two little birthday parties for Millie.  It's tough to have a big party for her, given they have to be inside at this time of year and our house starts to feel cramped with more than a dozen people.  Especially if those people are of the small, energetic variety.  The first party was with Nana and Papa then we had a second party with Millie's cousins and our friends, the Smiths.  We had a Minnie mouse cake and a silly string shoot out.  I'm so terrible at making sure we take pictures at the parties because I'm so busy hosting.    I've tried handing that responsibility over to Josh but he always takes 2 obligatory pictures then sets the camera down and we once again end up with no pictures.  Someone has to give me some tips on how to handle it.

For the harvest carnival this year Cash wanted to dress up as a Ninja Turtle.  I made most of his costume, excluding the mask and nunchucks.  If you have a son between 5 and 10 years old then you probably need no explanation for my costume but I was April, the Ninja Turtle sidekick from the cartoon.  Millie was, no surprise here, Minnie Mouse.  She loves her costume and especially the little ears.  She wears them all the time.  Josh was in Bandon for cranberry harvest the week of the harvest carnival so I took the kiddos solo.  We had a lot of fun playing Bible themed games and Cash won a drawing and came home with a new bike!!!  I was so excited for him, I almost cried.  I've never won anything in my life and I'm so glad that I signed him up for the raffle.  What an awesome blessing!